


the resemblance IS uncanny...

by gladdecease



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, The Mindy Project
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Trek Fusion, Bechdel Test Pass, Community: ladiesbingo, Community: trope_bingo, Dialogue-Only, F/M, POV First Person, Science Fiction Tropes, Sexual Fantasy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-25
Updated: 2013-10-25
Packaged: 2017-12-30 10:48:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1017700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gladdecease/pseuds/gladdecease
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Betsy tries to vent to her boss about how <em>boring</em> life is on the <em>Defiant</em>, but Mindy has problems of her own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the resemblance IS uncanny...

**Author's Note:**

> Don't think I've quite got the character voices down, but I am _really_ taken with the idea of Schulman  & Associates being medical officers (and their underlings) on the _Defiant_. Since I'm pretty sure exactly zero other people are into this idea, it's kind of up to me to write it, inaccurate character voices or not.

I had thought Starfleet would be fun and exciting - _way_ more fun and exciting than staying at home, getting laughed at for being a Loonie. I can't help where I come from! The accent, I guess I could technically probably do something about, but out in space so many people hear my voice through the Universal Translator's filter that it stopped being such a big deal.

But I'm getting off topic.

I _had_ thought Starfleet would be fun and exciting - but I've been working on this ship for three months now and we only left the station _once_. And that was just to go through the dumb wormhole to look at a dumb new planet.

Sure, the wormhole is supposed to be really pretty to look at, but I didn't get to see it while we were going through it, and nobody who works on the ship day-to-day got to go down to the planet, it was just command staff people from _Deep Space Nine_. Well, whoop-de-doo, they got to visit a planet that doesn't exist in real space every couple decades, big deal! What _I_ want to know is -

"Betsy, I am _trying_ to care, I really am, but you're just boring me to tears."

Oh. Sorry, Dr. L.

"It's okay, I know you're trying really hard to sound interesting, but you're just... not."

I know.

"I mean, you're a yeoman. You're _my_ yeoman. A medical officer's yeoman. That's, like, the lowest low down low position on the totem pole of the _Defiant_. Did you really think they were gonna take you on an away mission if they weren't even taking _me_?"

I guess not. But I still would've liked to go.

"Yeah, well, not me. Staying on the ship, where there's real replicated food, real beds, real intranet, that's where it's at."

But couldn't you get all that stuff back on Earth?

"Not true. The... the beds are bigger back on Earth. And sometimes there's non-replicated food that doesn't taste like garbage."

Then -

" _And_ there's a full access in _ter_ net, _and_ holosuites that aren't _totally_ gross and skeevy like the ones at that gross skeevy Ferengi bar, _**and**_ \- "

Then why are you out here, and not on Earth?

"Because _Casey_ is out here, Betsy."

Casey?

"Yeah, Casey! ...ugh, fine, _Vedek Kesa_ , you knew who I meant."

...isn't Kesa his last name?

"Yeah, well, I didn't know that at the time, I just knew he was a super cute Bajoran guy I met on a shuttle going to New York - and Paris after that, which I guess is where he was actually going, but _I_ was going to New York - and that a super cute guy deserved a super cute nickname, so: Casey! Anyway, we're dating now, so I can't just go back to Earth because I like the entertainment, mattresses, food, and... general standard of living... better there."

And I thought you liked Dr. Bashir!

"Ugh, who _doesn't_ like Dr. Bashir? He's hot, he's smart, he's got that _great_ accent, and bonus! he's brown, which would be a _huge_ improvement to my parents, after all the white guys and aliens I've been dating, even though he's not the same kind of brown as us."

He sounds great! So, what's the problem?

"The problem, Betsy, is that _you_ once said - as a _joke_ , I hope - that he could be the time traveling future kid of me and _Jeremy_."

W-well, Dr. Reed _does_ look and sound a little like Dr. Bashir, except for...

"The skin tone, yes, which is what _I_ provide in this scenario, I get it. But it has made me unable to view Dr. Bashir in a sexual light, because every time I try our sexy post-date medical conversation-slash-innuendo turns into him telling me about how he got caught in a tragically located temporal anomaly when he was five and was thrown back in time twenty years and then I just want to _hug him_ and promise everything will be okay and tell him that I still love him even though he's older than me now and _that does not make for a sexy fantasy, Betsy_."

No no it doesn't, I'm really sorry for making you think about that, Dr. L.

"Well... good! You should be."

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt "au: space" on my [trope_bingo](http://trope_bingo.dreamwidth.org/) [card](http://glad-fics.livejournal.com/38550.html), and the prompt "Little Miss Perfect: Mary Sue (or Marty Stu)" on my [ladiesbingo](http://ladiesbingo.dreamwidth.org/) [card](http://glad-fics.livejournal.com/42549.html). (Don't worry, Julian, _I_ think you're okay.)


End file.
